A Down Day

As I stood over the incubator, looking down at the newest child in my ever growing family, I realized how tired Zoe looked. Her assisted breathing was slow and rhythmic but I saw an exhausted look on her lovely face and tiredness emanating from every one of those breaths. The day had started well enough… Kim had made the ‘morning run’, attended Zoe’s feeding and even had the opportunity to get a little practical experience at #2 diaper changing. It had all the makings of a stellar day, and with Illinois visitors coming up to visit, it definitely looked like it had all of the makings of being an ‘Up Day’.

In retrospect we all knew that it would eventually happen… The doctors and nurses had said that there would be ‘Down Days’-they should know, it’s their job… our good friend Cheryl had said there would be ‘Down Days’ – she should know, she had been through this herself… and intellectually Kim & Phil knew that there would be ‘Down Days’- but she was doing so good!

In retrospect, the ‘Down Day’ was far less ‘Down’ than it could have been. Zoe had to be intubated again with a slightly elevated O2 level. It was because her right side upper lung is not fully inflated. In addition, the attempts to correct the inflation issue have been stymied by Zoe herself not allowing the doctors & nurses to have their way with her. Lastly, the efforts of the staff to draw more blood has been thwarted by Zoe refusing to offer up any more… simply put, she wanted to be left alone.

The X-Rays of ZAC’s chest did show good development of the respiratory area but its SO EASY to forget that this child is 16… oops, make that 15 weeks premature. We expect so much of this small one… but it will happen in her and in His time.

In the end, Zoe got her way since it was decided to put all of the poking and prodding aside for a day and let the girl rest… seems Zoe knew what was in her best interests the whole time.

So… what’s up with all of the ‘exhausted looks’? Well, while it is true that Zoe did looked very tired, it is more true that Kim & Phil look far worse and this is affecting the way they see each bump in the road and each day that produces less that ‘stellar’ progress. There is a very thin line between worry and anxious trusting in the Lord. It is easy to see why. The incessant beeping of the machines, the clinical nature of the NICU and the medical-speak gobbledygook of the doctors takes a toll on one’s spirit.

That there will be prayers lifted up for Zoe across this world is a certainty that I trust in… but I would also ask that a measure of prayers also be offered up, on behalf of Kim and Phil, that they can rest their concerns in His hands and have a measure of His peace.

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” - Matthew 6:34

ZAC’s GP